The meaning in the texts
by inslupbanana
Summary: Parker had smashed his phone and having recently returned from active duty he didn't really know how to use his fancy touchscreen one. So it wasn't really Booth's fault when he typed his son's number in wrong, nor was it his fault when the extremely blunt woman he'd accidentally reached wouldn't stop replying.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N This is a mild experiment considering the Bones fandom isn't really active on Tumblr. Also I should know by now not to start new fanfics while still in the middle of others but I can't seem to help myself. I just love wrong number fics too much :) I'm annoyed bc I can't seem to get Booth's character. Also if you're reading my Hawaii Five 0 fic, no this isn't the same thing shhhh. Sorry about British things.)

Booth is 35 and _Italic_ (Parker is 10, I messed with his comparative age a little)

Bones is 30 and **Bold**

Friday 2/2/2014

7:49 _Hey little guy, I just arrived at work and your mom has given the OK for me to pick you up from school later for the weekend. How does that sound?_

7:55 _Parker?_

8:03 _Kid I'm sorry about the little guy thing, yes I get it, you're ten, you're not little any more I won't do it again yada yada. Now what do you say we go to the zoo after school eh?_

10:30 _Okay I know you've been in breaktime for ten minutes now so why are you not replying? You know I get when you do that, c'mon you're practically glued to your phone when I try to talk to you normally._

10:41 **My name is not Parker.**

10:56 _Excuse me? Kid has your friend got your phone again?_

11:20 **My name is not Parker, I am not any kind of baby goat and I do not know you. Now please refrain from texting me, I am trying to work.**

11:36 _Is this some kind of joke?_

11:47 **No.**

12:05 _Oh God I'm sorry I must have got the wrong number. Damn, sorry about all the texts then I guess._

12:15 **That is fine. I see it was a mistake. And for your information God does not exist.**

12:16 _Excuse me?_

12:17 **God is a nonexistent being, the concept of which is merely a foolish attempt to explain the, as of yet, inexplicable.**

12:18 _Okay whoever you are, me accidentally messaging the wrong person does not give you the right to question my beliefs. For_ _ **your**_ _information I am Catholic._

12:18 **Alright. Now I must get back to my work.**

13:06 _Fine, Okay. Fine_

15:41 _Do you know how to send a group text on a smartphone?_

15:45 **Yes. Why?**

15:50 _Well could you tell me how to send one?_

15:51 **Do you not have anyone else to ask?**

15:52 _Currently no, which is why I need to figure out this group text thing. Please?_

15:54 **Alright. This is dependent upon your phone type but you should be able to press the message button, scroll to the right and it would be the first option at the top.**

15:56 _Yes! Thank you! And I'm sorry again about earlier._

15:57 **You're welcome. Though I must admit I was surprised when you chose to continue to correspond with me.**

15:59 _Okay a) who talks like that and b) who said anything about continuing._

16:03 **Oh. You are correct. Goodbye.**

16:06 _No, wait! Just talk to me a bit longer, please? Because I couldn't reach my son earlier I don't actually get to see him until next weekend and I don't have anything to do at the moment._

16:10 **So you are bored and believe I could provide a distraction?**

16:11 _Yeah I guess so._

16:14 **Okay then. But not for long, I'm still working.**

6:17 _Sooo... what do you wanna talk about?_

16:19 **I do not know, I do not seem to be the best at social situations**

16:21 _Is that why you type like that?_

16:22 **Excuse me?**

16:24 _No offence but you type like a robot_

16:2 **5 From my understanding the phrase 'no offence' usually precedes a particularly offensive statement but I see nothing wrong with being compared to a robot. I admire logic.**

16:26 _My God what even are you._

16:29 **Blasphemy. And a 30 year old woman, I do find that offensive.**

16:32 _Right. Sorry._

16:34 _And was that... a joke?_

16:36 **It was an attempt at making a humourous statement, yes.**

16:37 _Good one._

16:39 _What should I call you?_

16:41 **I don't know.**

16:41 _What do you mean you don't know?_

16:42 **Well I am somewhat wary of giving you my actual name due to my prominent position.**

16:45 _Hang on are you saying that you're famous enough that I would just recognise your name?_

16:47 **Perhaps but as I do not know your approximate age, gender or preferred reading materials I am unable to make a more accurate prediction.**

16:48 _Oh so you're some sort of author then._

16:49 **Of a sort.**

16:50 _Cool_

16:52 **What is cool? I do not understand, are you cold?**

16:54 _Wow, you're very literal. No I just mean cool as in awesome I guess._

16:55 **I will take that as a compliment then, thank you.**

16:58 _And I'm a 35 year old male._

17:01 T **hen you may have heard of me, I'd prefer not to tell you my name.**

17:04 _That's fine I guess, I can think of a nickname for you. Just call me Booth._

17:06 **Booth is an odd name**

17:08 _It's actually my surname but my first name is even stranger so I thought I'd give you that_

17:09 **That seems logical, I too have an unusual first name by other people's standards.**

17:10 _Oh come on, what is it?_

17:11 **I do not feel comfortable giving you that information yet. You also do not seem entirely comfortable with me considering you gave me a relatively common last name.**

17:11 _Okay I'm sorry, I won't push it._

17:12 **Is there anything else you would like to talk about before I have to leave?**

17:14 _Um I dunno. Okay I'm pretty good with a gun, tell me an usual skill of yours._

17:16 **I'm excellent at three types of martial arts. How good?**

17:18 _I was a sniper. The more I learn about you the more impressed I am._

17:20 **I almost return that sentiment. I believe I am an impressive person, yes.**

17:21 _Nice and modest too._

17:23 **By definition probably not, people do not like to hear my accomplishments.**

17:25 _I was being... nevermind._

17:28 **Okay. I have to get back to my bones now.**

17:31 _What did you just say? Bones?_

17:32 **Yes, I work with the human skeleton.**

17:33 _Huh. Well that's what I'll call you then._

17:35 **What?**

17:36 _Bones._

(A/N I seem to have practically made Bones a vulcan in this. However considering how badly her emotions come across (or rather don't) irl I figured it'd be worse over text. Plus she hasn't had Booth's moderating influence yet. Thx for reading, check out my tumblr under the same username and I will see you guys next time :D)


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday 2/3/2014

10:34 _Bones! Did you know giraffes have blue tongues?_

10:38 **As that is a relatively common factoid, yes. This is caused by an excess of melanin on the surface of their tongues to protect them from sunburn.**

10:39 **Why are you telling me this?**

10:41 _I actually got to spend time with Parker so I'm at the zoo with him and he's reading animal facts, he liked the reason you gave even if he doesn't understand it_

10:43 **Oh. Giraffes also have two knobs of ossified cartilage on their head for thermoregulation.**

10:44 _In English?_

10:46 **That was English**

10:48 _I just meant... simpler language, he's only 10_

10:51 **Hornlike lumps of solid cartilage (similar to the composition of the human nose) that help them keep warm**

10:53 _He says thank you and asks for a shark fact from 'the nice lady who knows everything'_

10:54 **Lamnid sharks have retia (an unusual blood vessel arrangement) near their eyes to regulate their eye temperature in cold water. And it is impossible to know everything.**

10:58 _Geez Bones, I'd say you're pretty damn close._

11:01 **I know**

11:04 _Hey hey, it's that infamous modesty of yours again_

11:07 **Are you mocking me?**

11:08 _No Bones, it's just a joke that's all_

11:10 **Fine. Tell your son that curiosity is a good quality. I have to go, I need to go to work.**

11:12 _I'm sorry Bones I was only teasing you. Parker is enjoying an ice cream but the way his face is scrunching means he's thanking you. Er not that you could see that._

16:14 **Obviously. And I apologise for leaving so soon, I've had enough of people mocking me. Though I did have work to do.**

16:16 _That's okay Bones. And what exactly do you do? I mean going around playing with bones could be a very suspicious job description._

16:17 **I'm a forensic anthropologist**

16: 18 _Forensic whatawhat now?_

16:21 **Anthropologist, Booth**

16:23: _Right... And what does one of them do?_

16:25 **I work with law enforcement and process skeletal evidence**

16:27 _Law enforcement eh? So you look at bones and find out who killed them._

16:30 **I do more than that Booth, I find out who they were. My team gives the lost back their names, faces and identities.**

16:32 _Well that's very noble of you Bones. And no I'm not making fun of you._

16:35 **Thank you. What's your occupation then?**

16:37 _What is this, twenty questions? Oh there's an idea._

16:39 **You asked first, I was merely continuing the conversation.**

16:42 _Alright Bones tell you what, as all I'm supposed to be doing is paperwork, I'll answer that if you play twenty questions with me._

16:45 **Paperwork is important! Though I suppose I am somewhat interested in seeing what this could reveal.**

16:47 _Alrighty it's settled then. We'll take it in turns to think of a question that we have to answer. I'll go first, I'm in the FBI. Favourite animal and why?_

16:48 **Interesting but that's technically two questions Booth. And I enjoy the aesthetic of dolphins because my mother loved them.**

16:50 **Why did you join the FBI?**

16:51 _Adorable. And that's a little deep for a game of twenty questions don't you think? I joined because I was sick of having to leave my little boy to defend my country and they offered me a job so I'm fighting on the home front now. Worst part is I still barely get to see Parker. Fair is fair, why forensic anthropology?_

16:54 **I see your point. I enjoy the science of culture and society and I want to return the missing to their loved ones. I must admit I'm unsure of what questions would be appropriate now. Favourite food?**

16:56 _Woah Bones those answers are a little different don't ya think? And I don't know, maybe some good old American rib-eye steak. If you could have anything in the world what would it be?_

16:57 **Steak isn't specifically an american dish Booth. I'd prefer not to answer that question, maybe we should stop now.**

17:00 _Aw come on it's only a little harmless fun, what's the worst that could happen? Even in the FBI we can't find you through your hopes Bones._

17:02 **Despite my disregard for superstition even I have found that saying what's the worst that could happen is never a good thing. Fine. If I could have anything in the world I would want my parents back.**

17:04 _Sorry. If it makes you feel any better I'd just want my family too._

17:07 **How is your misery supposed to make mine any better? Now we're both upset for no reason.**

17:10 _It's just a phrase Bones, look I'm sorry for pushing too far okay?_

17:13 **I accept your apology but I have to go now, we have an urgent case and I expect I'll be working all night otherwise.**

17:15 _Somehow I get the feeling that that isn't unusual for you. Ttyl._

17:16 **What?**

17:17 _Ha, my kid has been showing me this new-fangled text speak business. It means talk to you later._

17:19 **Technically we'd be texting. Bye Booth.**

17:21 _Bye Bones._

 _(A/N)_

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